Presentation Feedback

Dear group members,
Please review my presentation and use the critique sheet Dr. Archibald has provided to give me feedback so that I can improve the presentation.

Conference Notes

After my conference with Dr. Archibald I now have a much better understanding of what I need to add into my paper. If I can find a few interesting topics to compare and pick out controversy, I can perfect my paper and meet all of the criteria standards. I know I have a good amount of information on the background of my topic and I know if I try hard I can find some way to find a few examples of controversy. I would say about three examples would be enough to get my point across.

Sources for the 3ResProj

While searching for my sources, I used the advanced search. I was able to gain more information and use it all for my paper. I found my sources and listed the main points of each website. Then I brought together the information and organized it into paragraphs. I then added in my opinion and finished with my conclusion.

What Is A Synthesis?

From reading the Synthesis Chapter, I gained a lot more knowledge about how to organize and form my paper. In order to perfect my paper I need to ensure that I am gathering the maximum amount of information from my old paper and my new topic as possible. Taking down through notes on the two main sources will help me to better compare and contrast the two as well as find patterns or themes relating the two sources. Being creative and keeping an open mind is very likely to spark new thoughts which in turn leads to new discussion.

Thinking about the two different papers I have written, I can pick out some main topics within the sources and can begin to start synthesizing them. I will have to break down what information I have from the two sources and then use it in my paper. Creating conversations from these scraps of information can create intrigue in the reader.

Insights From Reading The New Document

This new primary source document that I have for my second essay is a video of the Hugh Herr commencement speech that took place in May of this year. Hugh Herr discussed how he overcame a terrible accident. His legs now are not his biological legs and how far technology has come. Technology can even do something so wonderful as to give Herr the capability to walk again after having his legs amputated. His entire speech is thick with inspiration and motivation. 

Comparing the two sources I think the new Hugh Herr speech was a better commencement speech. It encouraged students to keep holding on to hope and to show how important our future technology is. The old document did not carry enough information and the speech could have been longer I think. The new speech is much more modern and discusses technology whereas technology was never a big thing back when the old speech took place.

Revising the 1Report Assignment

                      In order to make my paper better, I will need to re-do my entire first draft. I guess I did not read the directions to the essay clear enough and unfortunately completed the assignment incorrectly. I struggled finding a lot of sources and I felt that my primary source that was given to me had very little information. It could have been much more thorough and relate-able to my topic.

            If I write less about the author of the speech and more about the speech itself I believe that that will help me achieve a better grade for my essay. I will need to look further into the passage of my primary source and get more of a feel of what the speaker was saying and trying to reach out and say to everyone else. If I can focus paragraph by paragraph I can break down his thoughts and try to organize them throughout my paper. Of course I will have to write in much detail about each paragraph in order to make the word count on this rough draft.

            I know that as long as I write thoroughly, stay away from a biography, and discuss the speech of my primary source, I can drastically improve my paper. I will talk about the atmosphere of the setting in which the speech was given and the time period and such other things. I will retrieve more sources and follow closely to the given directions.

Progression in MU Local History research

While researching my topic on Millersville University local history, I have found so many useful sources and items to use and talk about. These topics cover everything from the presidents of our school to our extra curricular activites. Choosing this topic will help me learn more about my school and how it came about to be Millersville University. Established in 1855, Millersville was a Normal school; the first state Normal school in Pennsylvania. It did not become Millersville University until 1983. As I continue with my research on this paper, I would like to discover more about the people who founded Millersville and brought it to life. I want to know where our school started compared to where it is now. I will find out how our school colors came to be black and yellow. Through my sources I will discover more about the history of Millersville University and the roots of our beloved school.